| 26 WEEKS!!! |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|05:47 pm] |
Apparently the last time I typed anything down was 26 weeks ago, which depresses me. It's the same old reason though for not wanting to, and all it really is is that I don't want to have to send out notices of how sad or how glad I'm feeling. I think Mia (HEY YOU!!! I wrote on your wall) and EJ (BUDDY!!! SCHOOL!!!!) and Gracie ('ello Lovey!!:D:D:D) come by often enough to see if I've put anything down aside from the usual. Well, let me tell you about what's going on now...
I know live in a house designed for 6 people. There are at least TWICE that number in here, but the number 12 can be substituted for 13 because I have a relative who talks at the volume that would drown out any screaming or kicking done by 2 people in a fight. Exaggeration? Maybe. But it's not too far from the truth. The House is shrinking and the walls don't talk anymore. Why would they? Break is over and the Relatives are here.
No word about Mother coming home. In fact, I think Mother now has her own little studio apartment across from where the old Instituto Cervantes used to be, but they had to move out because someone was killed in that building. When Mother told me this, I asked her to stop and re-think about moving into a building where a MURDER took place. Apparently, in hearing the words KILLED and APARTMENT, I panicked. She's moving into the building next door. Just want to make that as clear as possible, because it scared me the first time I heard it.
School is starting, and I'm not particularly excited. Hoping that this sem is a little more exciting, subjects will be a little more interesting (I'm thinking Bio 11, which features a lengthy 1 and a half hour lecture and an even lengthier 3 hour lab session, will hold plenty of things to talk about and even more to chop at, poke, probe and all other fun things).
I JUST WENT FOR A WALK!!!!:D HEALTHY!!!
I'll come back (not in 26 weeks naman... siguro... I don't know XD) and talk a little bit more to the blank page about what might be going on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2007|02:59 pm] |
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i wonder when she's coming home. i don't talk to anybody at home about how i feel about her leaving. i've spoken to her a couple of times and i miss her a great deal. she called us up today, in tears because she can't be home and that there are those who would much rather have her home than out in the cold... but she's not. she's where she should be, alone, attempting to find the common thread, that one little bit that everyone in this family seems to need. the ability to stand alone, and deal with whatever you have to carry with you. emotional baggage is bullshit, that's not it at all. she just has to figure things out. don't we all. im seeing her soon, and i think that's something i should look forward to...i think it is...i don't know what that'll be like after not having seen her in a month's time, and that doesn't seem that long, but it is when she can't come home. almost makes you feel like it was your fault...almost. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2007|02:54 pm] |
where to begin where to begin where to begin
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so far gone into bleak pipes the landscape lurches and fiends have at you. far far far you breathe it in and right makes no difference when put infront of the wrong. who says children should be set in their ways and people should stop and listen to the flowers, for they know much and hear all., they talk of wretches and putrefaction, beauty not being in the eye of the beholder but in the taste of agony, who says that children are never right.
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things were difficult at the time for me and i wasn't thinking. seriously, i had to put pen to paper and let things flow. its not pretty but its not meant to be anything, much more MEAN something. i just had to write. feel free to comment though...keep in mind that i was just writing to get something out. never really any words to hold you together so you break down and let them come out and this is sort of what happens...i think...or something like that.. |
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| fluffy beeyatch |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|10:29 pm] |
i wonder if it's really that hard to empathize... today i heard a story (a short one, but i will spare all who happen to come across this entry from it) that left me feeling...fucked up would be the most specific term i can think of.
it bothers me to know that there are horrors that walk around in human form. ask me and i'll tell you all about it. just be sure you really want to know, because the thought that there are people who are capable of nasty, nasty, NASTY things...and who seem to have no problem being able to let loose on other people. FUCKED UP, i guarantee.
on to lighter things...need to get the heavier stuff off my chest muna, that way i can breath and talk about other things easily.
Valentine's...heehee...that's it
many thanks go out to jake du...kalupitan mehn, kalupitan...
any of you heard morning glory by jamiroquai? old song just thought i'd ask...
enough scatter-brained ranting.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2006|05:06 pm] |
i am angry. disappointed. i realize that a greater deal of my memories growing up were of disappointment...maybe that's why im able to get by with the thought that disappointment is alright. i prepare for it, take it in, i know it'll be there, as soon as i come around corner...
you know what that's like? do you remember being a kid ad seeing something you wanted so badly, and hearing the words "we'll come back for it" from some grown-up...regardless of form, you heard those words and you knew that it was going to be there, just not now. and so you waited. and waited. waited. and then finally...it's gone.
maybe being able to embrace disappointment is alright. it helps me get by, i know that for a fact...discontentment runs deep in the world today, and maybe being able to see something you CANNOT have but want anyway helps you deal with Discontent better...what the fuck do i know...im still pissed anyway. |
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| WHERE |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|05:54 pm] |
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where's my copy of perks?!?!?! |
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| rickety |
[Jul. 17th, 2006|06:00 pm] |
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ever just been annoyed with the things around you? |
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| neon photos |
[Jun. 1st, 2006|10:07 pm] |
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today i saw my brother outlined in bright green. it was jarring, almost scary, bandanna wrapped around his head and playing air guitar like hendrix himself had stood up and wailed...bohemia in all its glory, you could say. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2006|10:40 am] |
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to take from someone else's blog (plagiarist, i know), why do you feel so right???:) |
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| pictures |
[May. 23rd, 2006|10:01 pm] |
i look through them.
Mostly its the same...Places, faces, that sort.
I'm looking for you. Be lying if I said I wasn't. And for something else...A face, a name, anything. I suppose jealousy (even a little?) is allowed?:)
So I used them, used them to follow, and see what you might've seen. I know where I WANT to be, and that's where you are...And after all that, I have this to say:
Poor, poor substitute.:)
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its the sentiment...doesn't it bother you when there's a lot you want (or rather NEED) to say, and you can't find the right way to let it out??? It either comes off as too cheesy or inadequate...But for this one, it was about how i feel, and i have one thing to say:
it's a poor, poor substitute.:) |
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| none |
[May. 21st, 2006|01:08 pm] |
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there are no doubts. |
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| catcher in the rye |
[May. 19th, 2006|01:15 am] |
Finished Perks of Being A Wallflower the other day. I picked it up for a lot of reasons, one of which was that I was hoping it would start me off on the whole coming-of-age novels and whatnot, particularly Catcher in the Rye.
I picked up my copy and was leafing through it, when I noticed the last blank page (I forget what you call them) was stuck to the back cover. I peel it off and I find my lolo's signature staring back at me. Forgive me for being the overly-sensitive boy that I am...My lolo's signature isn't so much a name as a picture. A picture of him. |
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| none |
[May. 9th, 2006|10:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Elvis by Alpha | ] |
I'm a perfectionist. I think going through the motions isn't worth it unless the product stands out. And amidst the multitudes who put down word after word after word, you start thinking...How distinct are your thoughts? Who cares about what you think anyway? And then that's when I think that its not really about what other people will think. It's an excuse, but it works REALLY well...:)
So, what's new and exciting...I've realized that I say that most of my days are spent in the same way, SSDD kind of thing. I was reading a friend's blog, and it hit me that it really isn't like that. I suppose I'm selective(?) about what I feel like putting down, but most of my friends talk about...well, each other and what happened and all that. Like today, I went out and saw MI 3 and I think tom cruise is a strange, strange man...If there are more of you who think so, please share.:) I'd like to think I'm not alone...
May 9, 18 more days and whatnot...Waiting isn't very fun... |
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| sit and stare |
[Apr. 28th, 2006|08:49 pm] |
where to begin...maybe you should start by saying that things never really fall into place until you actually stop moving long enough to let them. so maybe i finally stopped moving...and that's when you came in. i wasn't quite expecting that, i've known you for awhile, you and your friends and your poems and things like that. so how did that happen? where was i when i should have known it was you? i guess i was too busy being lost in myself and my "pain" that i didn't notice. and now that i've finally settled in, you've begun to feel like home. i'd rather not give it a name. if i did, it might decide to pack up and leave...and as selfish as that sounds, i like having it around. almost as much as i like having you around. so now i sit and stare. you stare back. this is good, i say. i quite like it, you say back. i smile (like a bloody idiot, might i add) and you end up laughing. this is good, i say to myself. very good. |
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| furniture and fistfights |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|12:05 am] |
Today wasn't very fun. Well, it was okay actually, I just felt like I spent most of my day waiting for everybody else...Not the way I want to spend my summer, and EVEN IF it was just one day, I want to make sure I make the most of what I've got. And waiting for people is not what I want to do.:)
So, what is new and exciting.It's summer, and I am immensely happy that I don't have to bother with my 3 subjects.:) Fucked up, I know...but I promised myself that I would start the 1st sem of 2nd year properly AND NOT FUCK around. If I do, then I'm as good as...yeah, you get the idea.
I've been reading Good Omens by Gaiman and Pratchett, and I ave to say that there aren't very many books which make someone laugh out loud. I've probably read one or two. There have been moments where I catch myself laughing...and it's a little disconcerting.:)
has anybody seen this movie with antonio banderas, he plays a character named carlos rueda? i THINK the movie is called nunca mas or something like that...his wife is played by emma thompson, if anybody has anymore info on that, let me know please??? much abliged.:)
enough babbling for now, come back later.. |
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| gulo |
[Jan. 2nd, 2006|08:01 pm] |
GULO, MY GAD!!!! ah well...what can you do.:) last night (which just sort of turned into this morning)was spent talking to levi. that was not exactly my idea of fun...but what can you do.:) talking and talking and talking and MORE talking, all of it sad, angry or somewhere in the grey area between those two. once again, not my idea of fun. GULO, MY GAD!!!!
back to school tomorrow!!! isn't that...just...grand.:D
GULO, MY GAD!!!! |
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| finally here |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|12:29 pm] |
its been way too long since we've had internet at home...which is alright actually, less distractions and all that crap. but its seriously starting to get to me...really...
everybody's talking about college. im in college, which is...surprising since i was hoping not to go back into school straight away. really wanted to be a lazy ass for while, which is really not a good thing, but im good at being lazy, so maybe i could develop that skill a little more.
college. its alright...i haven't decided if i like where i am right now. its leaning towards the negative side of things. im putting the blame on the fact that im still settling in and getting used to it, but there are days when i feel like the people around me are...not exactly unapproachable or anythng like that, i just have a harder time approaching people here. i really haven't figured it out myself, but as soon as i come up with a more definite description, it'll be here...
have a class at 1. 3 hours of natural science. sweet mother of god. |
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molaelf's journal